A Thanksgiving Homily

Rabbi Noah Weinberg tells the story of meeting a young man who had an unusually happy disposition. When he asked the man if there were a secret to his happiness he told this story:

“When I was 11 years old, I received a gift of happiness from God. I was riding my bicycle when a strong gust of wind blew me onto the ground into the path of an oncoming truck. The truck ran over me and cut off my leg. As I lay there bleeding, I realized that I might have to live the rest of my life without a leg. How depressing! But then I realized that being depressed won't get my leg back. So I decided right then and there not to waste my life despairing. When my parents arrived at the hospital they were shocked and grieving. So I told them: 'I've already adapted. Now you also have to get used to this.'   Ever since then, I see my friends getting upset over little things: their bus came late, they got a bad grade on a test, somebody insulted them. But I just enjoy life."

The story is purportedly true. This boy was uncommonly spiritually mature.

Religious individuals seem to be better equipped to maintain their well-being in adversity. Researchers Michael McCullough and Robert Emmons, curious about why people of faith seem to have more happiness and a greater sense of well-being than those who aren't, decided to study the connections. They devised a study requiring several hundred people in three different groups to keep daily diaries. The first group kept a diary of the events that occurred during the day, while the second group recorded their unpleasant experiences. The last group made a daily list of things for which they were grateful.

Their work presents the first empirical research on gratitude ever – and the results, which will be released in a book entitled The Psychology of Gratitude in January, 2004, are amazing. The subjects engaged in tending to their gratitude resulted in higher reported levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism and energy. Additionally, the gratitude group experienced less depression and stress, was more likely to help others, exercised more regularly and made more progress toward personal goals. According to the findings, people who feel grateful are also more likely to feel loved. McCullough and Emmons also noted that gratitude encouraged a positive cycle of reciprocal kindness among people since one act of gratitude encourages another.

These results also seem to show that gratitude works independently of faith. Though gratitude is a substantial part of most religions, McCulloch says the benefits extend to the general population, regardless of faith or lack thereof. McCullough suggests that anyone can increase their sense of well-being and create positive social effects just from counting their blessings.

William Blake said “Gratitude is heaven itself.” 

If I had to choose one emotion to define my own entire relationship to the world, I would choose gratitude. No matter how grim things get, counting our blessings is always available to us. There is always something to be grateful for, although we are not always in a frame of mind to be aware of it.

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A Zen student has written about waiting at a meat counter when another customer said to the butcher, "Cut me some of the good stuff".  The butcher said, "Hey, take a look — nothing but good stuff!"  This was just the catalyst the Zen student needed. He attentively looked at the food, the people in all their bustle, the sun shining out the windows . . . and for a moment he was awake - he saw nothing but good stuff.

 We are surrounded by good stuff. How is it that the brilliant fall foliage can be blocked from view by a shopping list? We groan and moan about the clouds when they come – this is free delivery of the most precious beverage in the universe…really good stuff…. I have done a larger number of funerals this year – and I am amazed and filled with awe at the love and genuine appreciation we have for not only our family members, but our co-workers, neighbors and friends when they pass away. We could be bursting with that love and appreciation every day…look around you –  consider if some of these people were to disappear from your lives, how impoverished it would be - what an amazing group of people we have right here to be thankful for. And then there are so many other loved ones in your life – losing any one of them would be unbearable. We are each so blessed…..

 A few reflective moments each morning can help us get in touch with our gratitude. Keeping a journal like those test subjects did can help too.. And parents – there is a time-honored way to teach your children. A night-time prayer practice . (Even if you’re uncomfortable with God language), there’s a new, very simple book out by Grace MacCarone called A Child's Goodnight Prayer. It’s a simple illustrated poem which reads, "Bless the moon, Bless the stars, Bless my night light, Bless my cars ...and so forth – and there is plenty of room to help your child think of new things to be grateful for –  This practice creates a good and healthy frame of mind in which to send your child -  or anyone -off to sleep.

 In the December newsletter, which will be in your hands very shortly, you’ll notice that Janet Walkden has taken on the task of reorganizing and updating the Parlor Library.  She has also  invited us to consider giving a holiday gift to the church in the form of a newer book that speaks to our traditions or current social issues. I have ordered A Child’s Goodnight Prayer as my gift for the library.

 If we go to sleep counting our blessings, we’ll be more awake to them in the light of day. This will be my prayer for us now and in the days to come. When you gather round your table to eat this Thanksgiving, I hope you will take a few moments to share aloud – without embarrassment, your many blessings.