|
Upcoming Sunday Worship Services |
"Congregational Safety in Troubled Times"
The eyes of the world have been focussed on Boston over the past several weeks as a scandal of unprecedented magnitude unfolds. In January, the Boston Globe reported that the Reverend John Geoghan had been moved from parish to parish for years, even though the archdiocese had evidence he had sexually abused a number of children. Now, more than 130 people have claimed he fondled or raped them during the three decades he served in Boston-area parishes. As increasing numbers of Geoghan's victims have stepped forward, victims of other priests have also begun to step identify themselves... Cardinal Law, responding to pressure, has agreed to release of names of all priests who have been accused of sex abuse. Thirty names, then fifty, now ninety priests stand accused. It is said that, "We see what we want to see, and we hear what we want to hear." For decades the archdiocese has apparently been deaf and blind to accusations of sex abuse; they've refused to see the incredible damage these unhealthy priests were doing; they refused to hear the outcry against them until it became a roar. They are being told, rightfully so, that to hide evil is to be complicit in it. Now Catholic bishops are working hard to change the way their church handles abuse, forming study committees, scouring personnel files for overlooked allegations and developing policies to improve responses to complaints. Never again can those who have been abused go unheard as they have been. Many lives have been forever scarred. In addition, serious harm has been done to the confidence of Catholics in their priests and in the leadership of their church. The morale of good, decent hardworking priests has to be suffering greatly. It is so easy - too easy - to view the problems of the catholic church as "their" problems, to blame priestly sexual abuse on celibacy and go "tsk tsk" that church officials looked the other way for so long. It's tempting to see this problem as someone else's. No one wants to hear that sexual abuse is our problem. No one wants to hear that if we don't educate ourselves that it can happen here. But it can happen here. Sexual abuse can happen in any environment where people are too afraid, or too uncomfortable to learn about it, and where there is an imbalance of power. But we cannot allow ourselves to stay in the dark because these issues are uncomfortable. Knowledge about sexual abuse acts much as a streetlight does, creating margins of safety where informed people gather. Believing this, our church formed a Safety Committee to study sex abuse and its prevention in 1999. Today, Janet Walkden, Janet Dunwoodie and I hope to explain the committee's evolution and the programs that we are recommending in our effort to make this as safe as we can. ******************* Here to tell you about the Safety Committee and its history, is Janet Dunwoodie. In years just prior to 1999 two convicted sex offenders were known to have worshipped among us in this sanctuary. Both moved on due to events in their own lives - they were very different from each other - one returned to thank the church for the support he experienced while he was here; the other returned to prison for another sexually related offense. To our knowledge no sexual abuse occurred on the part of these individuals while they were here. What they left behind for those of us in this congregation was heightened awareness, a sense worry, a realization that we are naive. We discovered how difficult a subject this is to talk about and how fearful we are for our children, and how we want church especially, to be a place where we can feel safe. The Safety Committee was formed to deal with these concerns. The Parish Committee suggested accepting people with strong feelings, and people who represented the many opposing points of view within the congregation. The specific charge of the committee was to develop a policy on how to deal with convicted sex offenders who might attend our services . The hope was that a policy which allowed the church to deal in a proscribed manner with convicted offenders, would allow the church to feel safe again. (We are grateful to the many who have served at least some time on that committee over the last three years. They are: Kevin Kiernan, Taime Paadre, Nancy Rowley, Viola Fairweather, Pam Davis, Kathy and Bill Powers, Mike Schroeder, Janet Walkden, Marybeth Truran, Jean Ford, Arnold Paige and Janet Dunwoodie and Tricia. ) To begin our own process, the committee brought in experts - first the Reverend Bill Zelazny our District Executive in the Ballou Channing District and the Reverend Cheryl LeShay, our District Youth Consultant - then a social worker who has dealt with offenders spent an evening helping us sort through issues and feelings. We read widely, gathered statistics and argued our points of view. The two primary values that clashed most were these: we wanted or children to be safe - we wanted the church to be safe for all who enter. But we also recognized that true ministry asks us to reach out to those who need it most. Was it our religious duty to try to work with sexual offenders who say they are reformed, in spite of some element of risk? But we also value freedom - if someone has paid their debt to society, have they not re-earned the right to move freely among us? Or, should the chilling statistics that suggest that at least some individuals are seemingly incurable sexual predators, make it our duty to bar convicted offenders from the sanctuary at the outset? By the end of that year we had learned alot - about our fears and ideals, about our compassion, and about our love and concern for each other and the church. The committee produced an interim policy that was accepted by the Parish Committee and endorsed at the year 2000 annual meeting. Later that spring we learned from a lawyer that a firm policy such as the Interim might put us at greater risk for lawsuits if something did happen, so the final document which was accepted by the Parish Committee this fall is in the form of guidelines, naming issues the congregation might face in the event of suspected sexual misconduct and possible ways to handle them. Copies are available in the Parlor. We urge you to read and become familiar with them. (Janet Dunwoodie will now introduce Janet Walkden.) ******************** Possibly the most important thing the Safety Committee learned is that no policy dealing with convicted offenders will make us safe. Law enforcement officials and doctors tell us that the greatest threats to children are not known, convicted offenders, or strangers - between 75 and 90 percent of the time, the abuser is an adult that the child knows and trusts; they are parents, stepparents, grandparents, neighbors, babysitters, clergy, coaches or someone else who has close, trusted contact with our children. As psychologist Craig Latham, who treats sex offenders has said: "They are us, and that is the problem." This is one reason why victims find it so hard speak up. The good news is that we can all be part of the solution. Sexual abuse thrives especially in an atmosphere of silence and avoidance of the issue. In today's climate that means just about everywhere. We can change that. Protection comes from learning the facts about sexual misconduct, abuse, molestation, harassment and exploitation. Safety comes from learning that abusers can be people we trust and like - it comes when we learn what to watch for when adults are with children. It comes when we teach our children to be aware and alert, and when we tell our children that it's okay to tell when they are being touched in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable. safety comes, too, when adults deal with their own abuse history. If you have experienced an abusive relationship in your life, and have not dealt with it, safety will increase when you do so.
The recommendation of this committee for this church is that we break the silence. We begin to break it today with this sermon. But we need to do more. The knowledge that each of us needs isn't rocket science - a one-evening class with an open discussion can build our awareness and heighten our vigilance. The Safety Committee plans to offer such a class to adults this spring, some time in April, and again in the fall, and annually after that so that newcomers will have an opportunity to know what they need to know. We urge everyone to come, but, for parents, it feels essential. Our church school children will be offered two very simple lessons on May 5th and 12th about trusting and voicing their feelings. They will be taught that it is okay to speak up when someone is making them feel uncomfortable, and they will be encouraged to turn to a trusted adult if trouble ever does arise. Parents, I encourage you to have your children in church school on these days. We want to be able to honestly say that , if we do all of these things, then we are safe here. But that would be sending the wrong message. We can never be totally safe as long as we are part of the larger society. That's the hard truth we ask you to come to grips with. *************** This difficult topic is likely to leave you more unsettled than centered. We have come to you from the pulpit today instead of offering a meeting after church because it is so important and needs everybody's attention. This might not feel like traditional worship. But the work of ending sexual abuse is, or ought to be, a religious calling for all of us - even if it doesn't feel like it. I keep coming back to two different portraits of a man named Micah that appear in the Bible. In the book of Judges a character named Micah turns a gift of his mother's silver into an enormous religious statue, saying, "Now I know that the lord will prosper me." Of course, he's mistaken. He doesn't understand that his attempt at worship is missing the mark. Before long his precious idol is stolen from him and he is left with nothing. In the book of Micah, we see Micah the prophet - a champion of social justice, railing against the people of Jerusalem for their ignorance which is allowing evil to flourish in their community. God is angry. If they do not change, he says, Jerusalem will be destroyed. Do not go before God with burnt offerings - He lays out the requirements of religion with these beautiful words... he says, " what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God.?" (Micah 6.8) Making the world a safer place for our children is God's work - but it is in our hands - or, to put it in Micah's terms, it is our walk. Our Safety Guidelines emphasize that the best protection that can be implemented to protect our children is a well-informed and alert community. It's possible that you will walk out of here feeling good that this sermon will help "break the silence." Don't. It's not enough. You might be tempted to feel proud that we have a knowledgeable committee that has been in place for three years and is prepared to help our church deal with the issue. Don't. It is not enough. Parents, be sure your children are in church school on may 5th and 12th. And everyone - we encourage you to come to the class that this Committee will be giving in April - walk in, listen, ask questions, and talk. When you walk out, then feel good that you have become part of the solution. - an adult who is learning to break the silence. If we do this, we stand in solidarity with those who are suffering in the Catholic Church and with those who suffer from sex abuse everywhere. |
|
Home Issues and Problems with this web site can be sent to webadmin@uumiddleboro.org * Please note that the First Unitarian
Universalist Society of Middleboro does not control the content of linked sites
and is not responsible for the content of any linked site. Last Update:11/05/2008 |